free.

this is not about how free i feel right now..

or not also because of the free thing that i gotta have in a month or else.

also not because we are living in this free country that we are able to do everything.

absolutely not.

oke,seriously talk.

my feeling mix up.

my feeling MENG-kerabukan otak.

my feeling make me feel bad.

it just..i wanna feel free..................

oke...because of this day...i already list up how is me in my mind before i touch this lappy n open up my blog to write it all over.

1) over-confident  kills me.

no matter how i feel that thing is so much good...at the end,things going up not as much as my otak talk.

2) two thing in one time make a worse environment .

going to do or to feel two different path in a moment is such a weird thing to do...weird?...that is.

3) past is past...future is unexpected.

past teach us?..that right but it doesnt matter at all for your future...errr...for me only...maybe.

4) seeing others just scare us.

seeing how bad they are,how good they are...all of these are just prevent us to try other thing.

life getting more complicated from day to day.

ya...to prove that we can do thing that we never do,to sacrifie ourself,to satisfied everyone,to grow up self-confidence,to touch people conscience.

i'm trying.

seriously.

frankly.

uhuk...pray for me.

n this is what i do when my feeling of bad,suprise,happy roll into one =)

both are picture of my cn_I geng.

yg nie...USIM-ians...sya punye housemate..6 org satu rumah :).

E-1-4

yg nie pulak....my tuto-mate!

tutorial 10..

love you all.

S.A.L.A.M =)

Asslamualaikum w.b.t

hari ini hari sabtu 

saye nk pergi umah wan saye

ny bkn saya yg tulis.

my adik.

mohamad yusuf.

ngeh~~~

kita BERnasib baik.

hai.

hari minggu yg seperti biasa.

just...the reality is i wanna write 'bout one of my friends.

kisah yg bagi aq sgt sedih.

kenapa?

betul lar org kata kita mmg x leyh nk expect life org laen mcm mne.

mmg kalau kita tgk apearance je...she love to smile,tension when it comes to assignment,feel happy when class had been cancelled,n etc that we always do.

tapi rupa-rupanya...behind all those yg bagi kita biasa tue...

kalau kita tahu kisah yg sebenar...dye seorang yg sgt tabah.

macam nie...

ade lar sehari tue...dpt berita..

ayah dye meninggal..waktu tu kitorang cuti sem.

oke....time tue rase cam biasa..*erk,jahat kan aq?*

yela..betul lha..sedekah al-fatihah then dah..stop smpai situ tanpa ade rase utk tahu ape2 yg laen.

lepas dlm 2 minggu macam tue,my roomate..#fatin#.dye cakap cmny...

ko tau tak pasal izni?

aq pun tanye lar kenape?

tahu tak ape fatin cakap?

she told me a story.

story that i never expect to hear.

rupa-rupanye balik cuti sem tue....hari-hari dye ulang alik dari rumah ke hospital.

waktu kitorang duk kt umah,rilex2 cam tue...dye dngn sgt tabah mnjaga ayah dye yg dah strok.terlantar je kat ats katil.

n yg paling buat hati runtun...izni punya mak dah meninggal setahun yg lepas.

penyakit yg same ng ayah dye tp mungkin lebih teruk sbb arwah mak dye koma.

tue pun dye tahu time2 nak akhir sbb kalau bole ayah dye x nak bgtaw.

sebabnye...time tue one month before spm...kre mcm ayh dye x nak concentration dye trganggu..

dah 2 mggu mak dye koma,baru dye tahu...tue pun sbb something yg x bole elak.

n ade sekali tue aq tanye dye.

"ermm....sekarang ny izni duk ngn sape?"

then...dye mcm pause...dlm 1 minit..

lps tue dye senyum n says "tak tahu lagi...adik ade yg tinggal ng opah..jage opah"

ya Allah...time tue aq rase cm telan pasir je...nk nanges.

perasan x ayat dye...mksudnye...bkn semua adik dye tggl ngn opah,mungkin duk kat hostel ke ape...mungkin jgk ngn org laen..n adik yg tggl ngn opah...bkn diorang yg dijaga...tp diorang yg jage opah...

utk pengetahuan...dye anak second...abg dye umur 20...sekarang kt maktab.

adik yg paling bongsu umur 7 tahun weii....sedih sgt.

meaning...sekarang ny dyorang anak yatim piatu.
abang dye jd ayah.

izni jdi mak.

utk adik2 dyorang......

n this story reminds me how much i have to be grateful.

n kisah ny bkn berlaku pada org yg aq x kenal.

tp yg sgt dekat..yg bagi sape2 yg tgk dye xkan tahu yg dye ade history yg mcm tue.

dan sebenarnye ramai lagi yg Allah uji....sgt menguji ujian yg Allah bg kt mereka2.

tp diorang tabah n kalau boleh x nak sesape tahu yg diorang sedih.

maka,bersyukurlah kita semua sbb hanya diuji dngn ujian yg x seberapa.

ingatlah pada orang yg lebih bnyak ujiannye.

mungkin itu akan mengajar kita utk lebih tabah.

insyaAllah.

piZZa??

hewhew...
nak mkn piza?

tp mls pegi pizza hut or domino?

jom2 kita tengok resepi piza nih...

haha...poyo.

gaya mcm nk buat iklan ape jew..

okeh.

check it out!

bahan2 doh :

~tepung gandum..

      sukatan dye ikut besa mne piza yg kita nak buat...oke?

~satu sudu besa yis...mauripan pun oke...yg senang nk jumpa kt pasaraya uh.

~satu sudu minyak sayuran....aq biasa guna minyak jagung.

~air....sukatan dye agak2 jew...mula2 ltk lar cikit2 dulu.

~satu sudu kecil garam.

~satu sudu gula kisar.

bahan2 topping :

~erm...sebenarnye topping ny ikut kesukaan kitew je.
kalau nak wat seafood...korang masakkanlah dulu udang or sotong tue dgn sos tomato
n sos cili...yg ny paling simple.
nak letak sosej ayam pun oke.

nak lagi best,letak lar mozarella cheese ke ape..

n kalau aq,,aq suka letak lada benggala. hehe

senang cakap mmg ikut suka je..

cara-cara buat : (yg ny penting )
1) rendam yis dan garam dlm satu mangkuk n biar sebati....tunggu 5 minit.

2) masuk tepung gandum dlm bekas utk uli

3) masuk campuran yis dan garam tadi sekali ngan tepung.

4) masuk minyak n gaul guna tangan...
    make sure korang  gaulkan tue lama sikit nak bg tekstur dye lembut.

5) kalau kering sgt,tmbah air..
    kalau melekit,tambah lagi tepung.

6) bila dah sebati amek kain lembap n tutup doh tadi,then jemur kejap kat cahaya matahari dalam       

    15 minit.(kalau x nak jemur,tunggu sampai 1 jam dlm keadaan dibalut ngn kain lembap)

7) sapukan minyak ats loyang n letak doh ats loyang..tekan2  sikit doh nk bagi keluar angin..
     tp jngn tekan kuat sgt.

8)  then,bole lar diletakkan topping ikut suka..
     bakar pada suhu 180 darjah celcius selama 15 minit...make sure oven panas dulu :)

oke...done!

dah bole makan piza!
selamat mencuba..yep.

the entry of sem 2.

yeah.

suda pukul 3 lebih2 pagi.

bkn x tido,bkn x nak tido tp x boleh tido.

sbb?....excited nk stat blaja esok!

haha...yela sgt.

oke.

pagi td dah siap daftar khusus.dah siap bank in yuran RM290.dah siap beli buku.half lar baru sbb buku yg laen2 blum keluar lagi mungkin.

disebabkan hari ni mendaftar...bank islam nilai x yah nak kate lar.penuh ngn budak2 usim doe.

seme agenda yg same.so,semua skali masok bank,amek borang,isi,bawak kuar duit then bayar.done.selesai satu kerja.

buku yg dah beli ; math,chemyst,bio.

esok stat ngn math. ngee~~

ktorang pun tatau kalau esok masok2 without briefing terus habiskan half of chapter one or maybe full of chapter one habis terus esok sbb esok ade 2 jam pagi2.

huu....dasyat..dengan peluru berpandu segala ilmu masuk.

haha...but,its okay. i like it.  

alahamdulillah...madam2 yg mengajar...x bnyak tuka.

asenye yg tuka just bhasa arab.

not ustaz khairuddin anymore.

now,ustaz naseer.

so then,da tade da ustaz yg akan silap panggil name dua tiga kali sbb nak suh aq buat kt depan.

da xde ustaz yg geram ngn kitorang sbb pyh nk phm.

n most important,da xde ustaz yg akan blnja kitorang waffle tp x nak mengaku dye yg blnja.

huu....agak sedih...

btw,wish me luck for this sem.

i donno what will happen tomorow.

i donno hw my life will be.

for sure,i want to put myself in such of effort so that i will paint a colourful wall surround me n my life.

in sha Allah.

take a bad song n make it better.

mean ; turn a bad situation to become more brighter.

in sha Allah.

keep praying.

keep Him in our life.

keep up on what good deeds we do.

then,He will lead us.

again,in sha Allah.

because,this is His world.

he had a plan.

and of course,the best one that we never know.

behind the me. :)

assalamualaikum.

hewhew.

feeling like want to write anything tonight.

n tetibe teringat kat kengkawan.

yg setia melayan kerenah dari budak2 smpai la besar tagun.

ntah la.

no friends no life...yela kot lau nk ikut under my wall.

yela...kalau ikut zmn sekolah menengah dulu.

sape thn doe nk dudk bwh bimbung asrama yg peraturan menggila tue lau xde kwn.

kwn yg support segala bende.

yg bagi dorongan utk buat ape2 keputusan.

or even the one that cheer us.

still.friends are very imporant.

i love those feeling.

feeling when we have our own bestfriend.

dan sampai ke saat ini masih bertegur sapa mmberitahu kisah2 zaman sekarang.

mmberitahu mcm kte masih dlm satu konti walaupun hakikatnye we are far enough.

far enough to smile while each of us can see the smile.

dan ini x brmakna kte x boleyh mncari kwn laen.

to my cn_I..

i love uolls so much.

n i feel great to have uolls as my friends.

kwn2 yg temankan aq time kat asrama bumi klntn yg kalau diikut logik aq tade sape2 kat sane.

dngn pengalaman time form one..

dngn bhasa klntn yg time tue satu habuk pun aq x phm..mnyebbkn aq duduk ats katil sorg2 termenung.

because i have no friend to talk.

yg aq boleh brcakap guna bhasa yg aq phm.

n kamu semua ckp aq ny garang.

mane tk garang...aq nk ckp un tk boleyh..

kebosanan thp melampau.. a week after..i think i understand what uolls try to tell me..then,i talk..

n i found you.

kamu semua..n we going to be friends for five years even different class,different room..but still,we are friends.

ramai yg tnye cmne korang berkawan kalau kelas tk sama,bilik x same.

n sincerely i didnt know how to answer it. 

tapi...awesome..kite masih ttp berkawan smpai skrg..

even semua dah tercampak kt dunia masing2.

usim,uia,uitm,stpm,stam,mesir,jordan.

huu....sesungguhnya aq sgt rindu kamu semua!

persepsi?

have been about a week.

sepi.sunyi.

x mghadap lappy.

x menekan keyboard.

x menonton cell phone.

hew.hew.

sbb?

prjalanan mrntasi negeri2 adlh pnyebab utama.

pahang >>>bangi>>>perak>>>perlis>>>kelantan>>>pahang.

laptop mmg x bwk sbb ase mcm x guna.

skali dlm kete ayh tnye laptop bwk tak...sbb nnti bohsan.

oke...terkedu disitu..

n sememangnye bowsan.

handphone kesayangan pulak....tgh on the way ke bangi...tup tup mati pulak dah dye.

tamat riwayat disitu.

n ingat2 balik...charger lupa nk letak dlm beg.

maknanye...stat dr hari first mmg dah terkeluar dr  dunia luar.

isolate myself in my own wall.

herher.

ntah la.

tp ble difikir fikirkan balik.

mmg kite yg hidup zmn sekarang ny...bende2 mcm 2 mmg bg penyebab utama utk go on life kew?

mungkin..sbb aq un dah ase x best je bile xde 2 bende 2.

tp rasenye xde lar jd penyebab utama,kan?

kecuali utk org2 yg life for nothing.

hidup yg sekadar hidup.

yg mereka2 fikir pengakhran hidup pun sampai kt dunia je.

n lps tu kte dah x kemana-mana.

limit smpai cni.

n x perlu utk fikir kehidupan laen after death.

nauzubillah.

semoga kite bkn tergolong dlm org yg hidup dlm fikiran spt itu.

sbb islam teach us that world is just a journey.

n mgkin mcm RnR tmpt persinggahan mlpskan lelah.

sblm kte menyambung lagi perjalanan menuju Tuhan.

n because of that.

money is not everything.

akn smpai satu tahap nnti bile kte akn terfikir yg duit ny mcm debu.

yg kite lngsung x perlukan.

tahap dimana kite hampir dngn jln menuju Allah.

and,of course.

money is not everything.

 it much enough to make people arguing each other.

but,on the other side.it give us chance to find the way to be nearer to Allah.

just if we know how.

coretanku hari ini.

hnye terfikir.

everyone.

smile =)

       

home?

assalamualaikum...

yap.its about home.

haha...xde la ape sgt.

cuma boring sgt then make me want to write something on this blue-white board.

oke.da duk umah around 2 weeks maybe..ke dah lebih?

ntah la..sbb duk umah xde komitmen pape...maka x mnjadi kemestian utk saya ingt tarikh n hari.

sbb tiap2 hari mmg komfem la tnye mak "what day is today?"

haa....amek kau...dah gaya budak2 skola rndah tnye kwn sblh hari ny hari ape..

kan kan kan?

"buat ape kt umah?"

soalan common .

basuh-sidai-lipat kain,memasak,menyapu,basuh pinggan n seme2 bende yg dah selari ngn keje pompuan.

2 je la pun yg aq wat.

then,of course....FB!

ahaha.....tipu r lau kta x bkk fb lgsung2 time duk umah...

n after fb...youtube!

ke youtube goes first before fb?

ahh...x kesa lar...mmg 2 bende 2 komfem tiap2 hari aq bkk....

ailaa~~

budak2 zaman sekarang..

i'm just wonder "wht my mum n dad do when they are return to their village after studying?"

emm...maybe dyorg tolong aki n wan n tok n tokwan kerja kot?

kita???

mmg x la .

x ke??

yala....xkn hang nk suh aq p tmpat keje mak n ayh skali kot?

nk kene marah??

hoho...

tp x pe lar...skrg ny tugas kite utk study je kot..

so,x yah susa2 cm org dulu2 kene g tolong menoreh,bajak sawah,tangkap ikan segala.

alhamdulillah...kehidupan makin baik.

oke...smile!

erm...btw,semlam i got the result!

my final sem 1 pnye result.

utk aq..dpt result cm2 mmg lebih dr brsyukur.

serious.

tp lau budak2 u laen tau result aq...ntah la dyorg nk pndg slack buat mata juling2 ke aq un tatau.

but after all,do i care??

ahaha..

so,maka.

sekarang ny komitmen yg plg dekat.

oh my MUET!

hoho...i donno wht to say.

am i do my preparation?

listening,reading,writing.

roll into one day...omo..

wish me can do whtever question that come through.

n selepas e2.

SEM 2!

okeh.have to struggle.

HAVE TO.

ny mmg da xde pilihan ke nk pilih2 bagai.

mmg kene pulun lar hang.

i'm not a person that have their own specialness in study.

someone yg bleyh ingt semua bnde in one second.

someone yg can score their exam with blink blink result without push themself too much.

i'm not that type.

so.wht i have to do.

adalah PULUN!

ehee~~

maka...smpai ny je la.

da azan asar.

i nak solat.

babbai! =)

one litre of tears.

good morning.

here , the most sadful drama.

check it out!

on the other shore of sadness

it is said that there is a smile

finally we arrived

but what are we waiting for?

the purpose is not to run away

it's to chase after dreams

we should have gone out to travel

on that summer day so long ago

even tomorrow,if you see it

though there isn't a sigh either

like a ship going againts the current flow

right now , go forward , move ahead

even if it cuts throught the rain n clouds

the wet road shine

only the dark will teach 

a stronger and stronger light

be strong , go forward , move ahead

such a inspiring and warm lyrics,yes?

that drama really teach me how blissful our health is.

n BTW this is from the real life,from the real Aya.

owh....i really cried a lot from the first episode until the end.

all of you must watch it! 

a must!

huu~~

just donno what to talk about.

i pause.

because of this drama.

n tell you.

i've watch this,five times.

n still...cried more than one litre.

maka,cuti yg pnjg mungkin,kite bleyh lar cari movie2 yg bermanfaat..heee~~

yg bg makna.

so that,can lead our life as well.

time2 cuti ny lar nk tgk movie kn?

nnti da start lecture...mmg semput x dan2 dah nk mncari bhn2 movie utk dibuat penghibur lara.

x ke?

maka,jgn lupa.

watch out!

study week~~~~

assalamualaikum..

ucapan penuh rahmat utk sesiapa sje.

da sampai hari ahad.baru hari kedua utk study week tp rase mcm da tatau nk wat ape.padahal bnyk je yg belum habis cover.smlm boleyh sampai 3 chpter je.

alhamdulillah...again..

even aq ny bkn jenis kaki study 24 jam tp dpt mnghabiskn 3 chapt subjek laen2 smlm...rase mcm seronok...ngeh ngeh...papelha...yg pasti tnggl bape hari je lagi pun nk mghabiskan sem1 yg penuh dngn gelak ketawa..takot takot...frust..tension..wat latihan x dpt jwpn...merungut dngn subjek math yg rase mcm tngn kebas2 tp x phm ape...dngn physic yg ade mcm2 gelaran...dngn miss ila n miss sufiah yg cantik giler tue...dngn segala hal yg masok terus dlm kepala otak tnpa limit...dengan segala galanye...

sure enough...i will miss all of them..

hee....ny sbnrnye contengan seorang yg tatau nk wat ape dlm study week.

ish ish ish...jngn ikot perangai aq...tp x pe jap lagi aq nk bkk physic..

usaha itu perlu.

doa itu mesti.

bce quran wajib.

sbb kuasa doa sgt mncengkam.betul tak?

"berdoalah kamu dalam keadaan kamu yakin doa kamu akan diterima"

n another one;

semua doa akan menjelma kecuali hamba itu tidak berdoa bersungguh-sungguh.

okey kawan kawan?

sedangkan iblis yg dilaknat tue pun Allah makbulkan doanye.kite hamba jalanan...insyaAllah dimakbulkan.

aku suka bace hlovate pnye karya bkn hanye sbb dia ade seni dlm menulis yg mmbolehkn kte x nak melepaskan novel dye sblom habis khatam.

bkn juga sbb aq teruja nk tau identiti dye.

tp sebab novel dye buat aq insaf .

kembali semula kpd fitrah yg kte ny hnye hamba yg lemah.

Allah yg mnciptakan semuanya n hanye Dia yg berhak mngambil,mematikan n mengstopkan segala bnde drpd jadi kpd x jadi..

kan,betul x?

ramlee awang murshid pun same.

sekurang-kurangnye mereka tau mrk menjadikan pena sbgai medan dakwah.

yg santai,yg sng diterima akal.yg mnjdikan kite insaf serta merta.

n sekurang-kurangnye mrk ade sesuatu utk disumbangkan kpd agama.

sekurang-kurangnye time hari kbangkitan nnti mrka ade sesuatu utk dijawab dpn Allah time Allah tnye ape yg kamu sudah buat utk masyarakat.

n sekurang-kurangnye mrk tak buat sesuatu yg sia-sia.

Alhamdulillah.

saya juga mahu mnyumbangkan sesuatu utk agama.

jom!

kite same2 bangkitkan islam.

x susah...berakhlaklah dengan baik.

kan?

insyaAllah kite try same same...:)

13 days to go~~

selamat petang :)

n 

Assalamualaikum.

sudah masuk bln 10.alhamdulillah dah smpt wish birthday ayah yg jatuh pd 1 oct lepas.n ayah ckp "kakngah blajar leklok ye,sian kt ayah."

owh...seriously,i'm trying..always..selalunye..bile orang cakap suh blajar leklok x kire lar dr kalangan family sndiri atau sepupu sepapat yg jauh2 atau kwn2 ayah n mak se-universiti yg mmg x penah knl...selalunye...yg dijawab dlm hati...i'm trying..always..n i am human being..

need much more abundance of energy than u ever think to speed up whole of my brain + body to make something brighter,something better.

ok?

but seriously ayah,i'm trying  my best.

n i will ~insyaAllah.do thing like what you wish.

maka,final exam jatuh pada 15/10/2012 sampai 22/10/2012.

selamat maju jaya diucapkan!

x smpai 13 hari lagi utk mengerah otak lam bilik tuto utk jwb soalan2 brmcm kerenah.

mungkin senang,mungkin susah,mungkin moderate.

ntah la~mane lar nk pikir seme tu.

yg pnting skrg ny kene study dlm mase yg tnggal dlm zon nazak ny seelok mgkinn.

sbb saya science student.critical thinking laen lau nk banding ngn student law n accaunt.

ny yg madam faeza lar yg cakap.

n kami bkn spt student medic or dentistry yg speed up time masa kecederaan n masih still bleyh sama rata ngn student yg konsisten..yg ny madam latifah yg ckp.

n seme yg diorang ckp betul.

kan?

ape ape pun.

i love usim.

cara utk sy tnjuk rase syg kpd usim,kpd kgkawan,kpd lecterur.

satu je.

get a good result.

then all of them will smile n appreciate us.

mak, tmpt utk luah mslh,tmpt utk mmbuang rase tension.

i will~insyaAllah do thing like what you wish too!

esok ahad :)

yeah~meet again..

n as usual,when night comes.

when all my housemate get their body inside the blanket.

when the house is going to be sunyi-sepi-suram.

then,i'm here.

in front of lappy.

typing again.

alone.

and,i love it.

:D

actually...ny bkn lar waktu tgh malam,sunyi yg sepatutnya suram,sunyi yg sepatutnye mmbunuh,sunyi yg mengcengkam..tp all five of mu housemate da tutup mata...flying to their dreamland..da sampai maybe.

sebab?

hari ny sabtu tp td kitorang ade workshop chemyst.

for final exam,of course, which will be held on 15 oct.

bus dtgg pick up student sc tech,medic n dentist at 7.30.

but thank GOD,one of my housemate ade kete.

so,biasalha lau da ade kete.

gi kul 8.30 cm2..

sbb workshop start 9.00 a.m

balik around 5 p.m

mybe sbb 2 yg penat sgt.

but seriously,is that a must for a more intelligent student to make that 'mencapap' way in front of 472 student?

oh~please lha~~

aq cakap ny sbb aq rase mcm tak patut utk bersorak sakan pada something yg x sepatutnya utk disorak sesakan itu..tak ke??

ye...betul la....korang pandai,yes..tak nafi.

tp pandai tu boleh ke jadi satu garisan utk menyebabkan kite rase lebih yg terlebih-lebih dari org laen?

tak kan?

n korangpun x suke kalau org label yg 'budak pandai mmg mcm 2'...

kan?

tp tak tau lar lau korang memang suke dapat perhatian disbbkn perkara yg org ramai x suke.

tp x per lha.

sbb bukan aq boleyh tegur depan2 cam2.

n bukan aq berani sgt nk pegi jumpe org yg aq x knl then ckp "asal ko mencapap sgt?"

2 mmg nada kurang hajar.

nada mintak sepak.

nada yg mnyebabkan aq ade possibility yg tnggi utk di"banned".

ha.ha.ha.

mcm xde gune je tulis kt blog ny.

sbb bukan budak tamhidi bace pun.

tp boleyh dijadikan sbgai satu garisan panduan kepada sesiapa yg mmbaca.

insyaALLAH.

haa~lagi satu.

madam latipah ade ckp:

"mungkin awk rase awk x pandai tp kuasa doa boleyh mengubah.

so,yakinlah dengan sepenuh hati pada doa yang kita mintak.

yakin yang kita boleyh mencapai apa yg kita hajat."

n dye bg lagu ny.

as this song dedicated to our parent.

n we as a daughter,a son,a student.

did we want tears fall from their cheek because of our failure?

tu madam yg cakap.n aq xde lah tulis ayat dye hundred percent.

emitate.maksud yg sama.sentence yg laen.okey?

sedih.

SAYA SAYANG MAK DAN AYAH.

dedicated to:

- Dr Hj Mohamad Azhar bin Mat Ali.

- Pn. Hjh Siti Pazilah binti Zakaria.

both my parent.

i wanna hug you.

from;

-your daughter,your kak ngah.

-Siti Maryam binti Mohamad Azhar.

SESUATU..

salam sejahtera.

selamat malam.

selamat bermujahadah.

semakin ramai yg sudah ke mesir.on the way ke klia.sudah selamat sampai di bumi jordan.

alhamdulillah.the greatest word to say.

tapi,masih..ade rase yang bertanda..tipu lau kate xde rase lasum..

yes betul..saya hepi mereka disana..dapat menyambung impian mnjadi cita2.

again..alhamdulillah..

hati seperti menarik narik.

rase seperti ingin mghamburkan segalanya.

rasa sedih yang bertanda..yg mnyebabkan ade sedikit rase x best.

sepanjang hari..setiap hari..feel like "mereka bertuah".dapat mnjejakkan kaki ketempat orang..belajar bende baru semestinya.

jelous kah aq?..mungkin..ntah lar..maybe because i build that dream so far..so far away that i can't reach it.

frankly speaking..i donnno what i feel right now..

n setelah sekian lama memendam rasa..setelah sekian lama menahan rasa,menahan air mata dari mengalir..

jatuh jugak malam ni.

aku x boleh tipu perasaan sendiri .

aku x boleh sembunyi rasa bersalah yg bertandang dalam hati every time i think about this.

kenapa ye?.

jahat kah aq?..x dpt menerima takdir?,,

rasa bersalah sbb ltk parent kt tmpat yg trlalu berharap..tp serious aq x reti nk bgtau that i'm not that good.

not that good to be brilliant.not that good.

please~~

dan akhirnya..malam ny..sengaja tutup lampu..sbb dah tau hati aq dah x boleh meletakkn tnda limit utk sesuatu yg aq perlu bwk keluar.

tenanglah wahai hati.

wish that my housemate x boleh mghidu rase yg berbekas dlm hati terlalu lama.

wait.i wanna cry..for a second..or maybe two.

keluarkan.keluarkan semuanya.

kerana,everytime i hear lecturer talk bout oversea student..tiap kali 2 jugak aq menelan air liur..

menahan rasa..termenung jauh yang aq x tau sempadannye dimana.

calm down.ALLAH by your shoulder.

HE never make mistake.

HE had save you one thing that u will never think u will get.

HE have already make your path..how it will be.

don't be sad..ermm?

insyaALLAH.

malas..pergilah kamu..menjauh dari hidupku.

i did not and never need you.

i have my mission.

i need to complete it.

hundred percent.

smile,ye!

life.as.a.student.

life.

student.

major things.

student=hostel.

even it is like an apartment with 3 bedroom 

tetapi it still an hostel when we have to use that matric card in or out.

n did not allow to cook in your house.

also,have one special place for your dobi.

n register all those electrical stuff if you didnt want to pay more.

haha.

just one little thing.

we didnt have to think all about the bills.

water bill,electrical bill n so on.

n sure,im not being here for just insulted all that thing.

im been here for....

eheee....

one...how to face people??

make it as you are!

in  this world..so many people..

n i'm sure enough that every of them are not looking at you.

understand?

then,why you must be the different person when you are in a crowded versatile place?

not neccessary,rite?

aha...yap,you want people think that you are gorgeous,smart,

beautiful that there's no one in this world is beautiful as you are.

such as you are completely perfect.

ha.ha.ha.

just want to let you know.we have more than hundred countries in this world n how can you compared yourself with all of them.

malaysian as normally will have a sawo matang skin instead of arabic which they have a natural colour of skin.

n how was it going to be you are the most gorgeous human in this world?

i'm thinking.

n i didn't get the answer.

so,people out there!

girl,female,woman especially.

dont think that you have that tittle of paling hot.

even yes,you can attract as many people as you want.

because it is just in your scop.

in your place.

which is,when you are going to another place.

you.are.nothing.

as well as man.

please not acted poyo.

oh ladida~

i hate that type of man.

yap it is right.

you are the most handsome.the most richest.the most intelligent.

one that good in religious.

pendek kata..you make woman scream all night.

but please!

don't act as poyo as it is.

poyo.bajet.perasan bagus.koya.

syok sendiri.the worst one.

be as natural as wind blowing.

boleh tak??

lantak la kan orang nak suka bnyk mne pun.

tp kita masih kita.

tak berubah.

masih seperti apa yang orang suka tengok kita.

dari sudut yang mana.

maka,

hati lebih tenang.

jiwa tarak kacau.

senyum sentiasa.

orang respect.

n we do that respect to anyone as well.

talk.do.smile.

assalamualaikum n a very good evening to all of you.

love to talk.love to do.love to smile.

does it matter,no?

now..its a beginning of september.

september mean a new life.

for university student.

almost.

but not tamhidians,of course.

heh.talking 'bout the early oversea student.

the first year one.

the excited one.

ya..its a must.

how can you not excited when it come to a new country,a new surrounding,new sylibus.

CONGRATULATION!!...

for MARA student.for JPA student.for under yayasan from each negeri student.

for medic mesir student.n for all.

do your good,your best.

bring back what we call annajah as well as good attitude.

no need to feel all those berlagak-ness.

just to remind.

*sheh*

its not about i feel that u all have that *thing*

just because.

eighteen years had come to me.

the years i live.

and the question are..

is that a suitable time to looking,searching for life partner?

is that can be the best time for lovey-dovey relationship?

can it be a good time to prove how much you can take care of your partner?

because from my point of view..if it is from your parent...

maybe,yes...it could be the best.

the best from every aspect that they think relationship need it.

dont ask me..i dont know..never jump into that issue with my mak n ayah. :P

but if it is just from your heart..

maybe..again..its a maybe...

it could give a positive or negative result.

we dont know.

we cant predict future.

but always..when its start...it will stop with tears.

the end.

so,what n how your aim work?

i really do not understand.

n i dont want to get drown in those thing.

i respect my parent more.

so,let they do their favor.

for the last time.

before i got married.

n responsibility interchanged.

from my parent to my husband.

pray for me.

always.

eid '12

da raya ke-lapan.

da selamat sampai di kknc.

da abeh musim beraya.

da kene paksa bleq masuk mood study.

da kena pikir again 'bout final exam.

da kene ade feel utk brsama kwn2 trchenta.

again.

life roll on like before.

eheh.

yela tu.

nk cite pasal raya.

sakan kah?

xde la sngat.

tp best sbb jumpa balik family.

family dr segala pihak.belah ayah.trletak di negeri pahang.

wan n aki.

makcik,sofia,kamarul.

mak itam,pak itam,kaklong sya,kakngah diba,abg meir,abg auh,intan

pak chu,chu,loqman,najib,ayu.

pak uda,mak uda.

n the rest.

family belah mak.terletak d perlis.

mak ndak.

mak tam,pak tam,abg fifi,kak tirah,kak dilah,dik qmal,kak diba.

mak njang,pak njang,abg syam,kak amani.

mak ngah,pak ngah.

tok tam,tok ndak,tok chu n semuanye.

sbb aq x ingat nk pnggl ape.

muke knl.. 

hehehe.

lg yg best sbb ktorg bakar lemang rmai2.

haha..best uh x yah ckp ah..

mmg gempak..mmg bising..mmg kecoh..

wan ckp cara laen..aki ckp cara laen..

kitorang tatau nk ikut cara sape2..

mmg terbaik lha~~

dodol aq x smpat nk wat.

sbb aq kn bleq shari sblom raya.

so,dodol wan da siap awl2..

tak merasa ah aq kacau dodol..

ishishish.

selalunye wan mmg akn puji aq ah.

haha...sbb aq pndai kacau..

tak mcm cucu yg laen..haha

kt perlis plak..

smpai2 da raye ketiga..

ktorg wat mee kari...then ingat nk wt laksa..

tp last2 mak njang kol say suh amek kuah laksa kt umah dye.

tnggl ktorg rebus laksa 2 je lha.

mmg terbaik lha raya tahun ny.

cooperation jelas terasa.

haha.

xde gmba nk post.

yg kt pahang pun sbb jasa abg auh.

cilok kt fb dye.ngeh~

yg dua ny...kt uamh wan chu..tibe2 jmpe family pak itam kt cni..snap ah!

haa...yg ny kt umah wan...kt temin...2 ade wan n aki..tp family pak itam lha ny..

tengah malam.

assalamualaikum....

da pukul 2.30 ++

n aq maseh di depan laptop fatin.... 

bkk google translate sbb nk wat bhsa arab nih...

n aq mengaku aq memang lemah arab sgt2...dah ade teknologi,gune je lar..ye dok?

ps2...ari ny kirenye da masuk khamis...ari last kuliah sblm balik beraya...

aq balik ari jumaat pukul 3 ptg..naek ktm kol 10 pg...sbb takut nnti sesak coz rmai sgt org.

n thank god lecturer class for friday cancel!

actually bkn la cancel tp dah diawalkn n ade yg postpone lps raya.

lau x..mknanye aq balik kol 6 ptg la jwbnye..

perasaan nk raya??

can i say "ntah"?

aq un tatau la...dngan segala barang aq x packing lg.

n kerana amaran2 n warning2 from our beloved lecturer.

yg kate "u all jngn happy sgt bcoz nnti ade yg toleyh msok sem2 sbb rezut sgt teruk .

n tyme 2 rase ketar segala urat saraf.

rase mcm "erk!..can i continue?"

yg berlegar legar dlm kepala otak;aq sgt takot.

seyesly.

what can i conclude;

university life is muchMORE different than secondary school.

dr cara study.sampailah ke cara brckp.cara communicate.

n everyth lar nk kate,

ini TTS10..KTS 3.

tamhidi science and technology.

masehkah kami bersama hingga ke akhir sem2?

insyaAllah...

semoga kami bersama hngga habis tamhidi.

aameennn...

exam!

huwaaa!!

ohh midterm ku...mmg hang x syg ye ktku?

ape2 lha~

kecewa+ trkejut + unexpexted roll into one..ase2 jd ape?

ahh...bia la..mcm yg org2 slalu ckp..let bygone be bygone..hehe...

pandai ye lau masuk bab2 brckp..

ermm...nothing to say actually..

aaa...ape aq nk ckp ny??...

oke2...tuka topik...

ari 2 wat iftar satu kelas....dkt dngn sutera indah..

restoran ayam kg cm2 lar~

g lam kol 6.45 smpai 7 lbh cm2...smpai2 btul2 tyme brbuka..

best,of course..

tibe2 je aq ase aq sayang semua budak2 satu kelas uh..hehe..

25 org.7 lelaki.18 perempuan.

thanks to all..for make it the best one!

*clapclap*

kepada:taufik,hannan,syakir,hazim,irfan,farid,rusydi.

juga kepada:

nurul,khalilah,nini,iqin,ezza,fai,fazi,farah,haida,pipah,aida,sarah,wani,diyana,hayatun,nisa',syiqah.

kamu semua best.kamu semua hebad.kamu semua seronok.

n kita semua TERBAIK~

nnti sebelum balik lepas abeh final exam for sem1,kite g skali ag nak?

g tmpat mahal2 lg...korang kan memang suka tmpt2 n mknn2 mahal nih..haha

ok lar.

aq nk wat math ny.

esok ade tutorial.

esok ade test chemyst topic 4.

semaoga aq dpt jwb n tenang sentiasa.

aameenn~~

Bersyukur itu Mesti.

Alhamdulillah~~

betul la kan?..bersyukur itu mesti...we need it always..

why??..even kte ase tak best something that happen atas bahu kte...segala assignment yg berlambak2...segala kerja rumah yg x siap2 tp maken brtambah tambah dari mggu ke mggu..segala kate2 n pandangan orang luar trhadap kite...talk it 2 myself too...

but,after all..penah kite tengok ape yg ade disebalik semua bende2 tu?...something behind the screen...

sebagai contoh...take me as an example...bcoz i donno other's life...

saya ade di usim..Alhamdulillah~

why?

kerana mndapat housemate yg mmberi peringatan ketika lalai even lalai dalam perkara remeh temeh..

kerana mndapat madam2 yg mmberi kata semangat dlam diam..

kerana saya maseh terjaga disini dari setiap sudut,dalam n luar..

 kerana maseh pnye housemate yg mmbuat jadual untuk tadarus smpena ramadhan..

kerana pnye roomate yg mmbntu memudahkan prjalanan ke campus..

kerana pergaulan antara lelaki-perempuan tak over.

kerana punya housemate yg mmberi teguran..

kerana mndapat kuliah-mate yg seronok utk terus belajar n belajar..

for all those thing..again..ALHAMDULILLAH~~

dan kerana banyak sangat sebab yg i tak boleyh n tak mampu utk jot-down.

sbb trlalu bnyk sebab yg boleh dibuat sebab utk kite brsyukur.

setiap saat sebenarnye.

even memang lar before this...i seyesly nak sgt2 pergi oversea...

n tak dapat.

dan sememangnye + semestinya i sangat sedih..

rupa-rupanye Allah dah atur untuk aq melangkah kesini..bertemu kawan2 baru yg sangat baik..

maseh dalam surrounding yg menjaga..

mungkin sbb semua yg disini semuanya pernah belajar subjek PQS n PSI..

maka..at least dapat beza bkn setakat baik-buruk...tp dosa-pahala...

seronok kan??

ntah lar...tp bagi aq...aq seronok n suka..

oke la..

pen-off.

setakat ny dulu lar ye.

saya nak sambung wat keje.

#terasa nak beli novel english bcoz my english...too bad#

LAGU~

tadi,tengah wat fizik..on the way wat soklan yg ke-3,tibe2 teringat ke member2 skola menengah aq...then trus mnx ketas A4 ng Fatimah..n tgh berkira kira nak wat kad raya.. yela..raya..plus minus lam smggu lbh cam 2 je lagi...tp x terasa maybe sbb maseh di tamhidi..maseh lam schedule pergi pg kol 8 balik kol 4 or 5 ptg..n campur lak ngn segala ilmu yg berebut rebut nak masuk n semua miss,madam yg sgt semangat utk mengajar n share ilmu ngn kitorang...maka,memang tak terasa lar mase Ramadhan kareem ny sgt cpt berlalu...s0,sambung balik psl kad raya tadi....then wat la dlm dua kad cm2 ...tbe2 je melintas abeh segala kenangan..teringat lagu2 yg ktorg cam xdela obses tp obses la gak lam mase kurang seminggu...selalunya mmg cm uh...konon obses la kan...tp tup2...mggu dpn,da feel bese2 da...haha...

so,terasa bagai ade aura utk tgk baleq n post lagu2 uh kt cini...tmpt meluah rase hati..lbh kurang lar~

yg lagu ny..time form4...mase tgh kls tmbahan utk spm...akhir tahun...time 2 budak2 form 4 je yg ade kt asrama....n skali ng kak2 tgh exam spm...

haa...yg ny aq lar kot yg paling obses...sbb best!...time 2 lar...form 4 gak..

yg ny...mase prep...ktorg bantai gi kat kelas yg sepatutnya x leh prep kt c2 n dengar lagu senyap2...lau dengar kuat2 memang kantoi lar bwk fon g asrama....haha...dengar + salin lirik....ps2 nyanyi ramai2...time form5..

yg ny plak...tengah exam spm...sambil2 bace buku n mengulang ape yg cikgu ajar...ktorang biasanya bukak radio skali...so,tangkap cintun ngn lagu ny time 2 lar...

haha...yg ny...mase aq amek stam jap sblum masuk usim...ntah camne..si diyah perkenalkan kt aku...terus ase lagu ny best giler...mcm sweet g2...haha...

2 je lar kot...xde pape nak wat....so,terus post je ape2 yg terlibtas dalam benak hati...

ermm...ape lagi ye?

da tade ape2 da asenye...

maka,bln 9 nur syahidah da nak berangkat ke jordan course perbankan islam..

n nik nabilah pulak ke mesir course medic...

semoga mereka dpt survive sbaik mungkin disana...insyaAllah...

MEMORY~

memory.

ari ny da 28 julai...sedang maseh dalam bulan puasa.

n tibe2 mcm biasa fikiran melayang jauh.

pergi backspace bleq zaman2 skola menengah.

trlampau bnyak kenangan.memori.memory.

ntah la.definisi memori 2 sndiri.

something yg leyh wat mulut jd bentuk melengkung mangkuk luas2.

n sometime bnde yg buat mata stuck kt stu arah tnpa ade ape2 cr0ss over our mind.

or maybe something that make sense until it make us wanna cry all out.

kan?...payah kn nk bg trjemahan versi penuh complete psl feeling?

tp yg amat pasti...memory skolah menengah..

aq xkn penah lupe..tipu lau kte secondary school didn't make sense..

it give...full of...ntah la...ta reti nak ckp..nk tulis..

hermmm.............

teringat segalanya...aq tanak ilang ingatan ini...kerana ia trlalu bahagia..

time ny..da abeh spm..da dpt result..

ika tade...sbb kt ganu..xleyh bleq klntan..bila lg ye aq nk g jmpe korg lg?

seme da besa..da move on  mncari definisi life..

muke seme hepi...sbb x merasa lg utk survive hidup sorg2 kt dunia lua..

maseh brfikir ikut neraca surrounding..brckp ntah hape2..

sembang segala mcm..dr prkara yg sepatutnya x penting lasum smpai kpd soal hati dn perasan yg sgt sukar utk cari makna disebalik...baring ats rooftop mlm2 lau kt bilik pns sgt sml tgk bintang..

jln2 around kb tanpa rasa brsalah wt bising..bljr same2..main same2..

n sekarang ktew seme da mmbesa...n not do it altogether..

tp aq tau...korg pndai jage diri..jage iman..jage hati..jage prckpn..

ramadhan kareem da smpai...dulu2 kte sahur smbl bace buku...ingt x tyme sejarah?

smgt betul bace hafal all bout tanah melayu...smpai x tidow..

n abeh je pekse..kebetulan blok x brkunci...ape lg...seme da trbonkang...

tido x ingt dunia...pndai sgt kn x tidow gara2 nk bce sejarah je mlm uh...

tp.....pngalaman yg......best!

herm...nk list seme mmg x abeh la kn...

tp yg diyah pesan kt aq..yg ika pesan..yg syida pesan...yg korang2 seme pesan..

'tayah da la gdoh2 ng laki'

ngeh~ntah la..its hard..donno why...

pengalamn lalu maseh bg kesan,mungkin?

ntah..aq tade jwpn...betul...herm...kdg2 ase diri ny teruk amat..

tatau..tatau...teruk kan seorg siti maryam...

saye sedih bile tringt mnde2 yg mcm uh...yg ase mcm ....arghhh...i donno how..

donno why...mcm mne ye?...nk tulis un x reti...ape lg nk express feeling uh ng riak muka..

toneless..speechless..

ha.ha.ha.

mode sedih...senget lar...

CINTA NUR ISLAM.aq sayang korang.aq tanak hilang korang.

gmba ika tade kt atas..so,tyme ny tgh berangan kn?..lam bilik..hewhew..

husna yg di tgh2...kami..maseh dlm pakaian sekolah...kain purple...

lawa kn?