esok ahad :)

yeah~meet again..

n as usual,when night comes.

when all my housemate get their body inside the blanket.

when the house is going to be sunyi-sepi-suram.

then,i'm here.

in front of lappy.

typing again.

alone.

and,i love it.

:D

actually...ny bkn lar waktu tgh malam,sunyi yg sepatutnya suram,sunyi yg sepatutnye mmbunuh,sunyi yg mengcengkam..tp all five of mu housemate da tutup mata...flying to their dreamland..da sampai maybe.

sebab?

hari ny sabtu tp td kitorang ade workshop chemyst.

for final exam,of course, which will be held on 15 oct.

bus dtgg pick up student sc tech,medic n dentist at 7.30.

but thank GOD,one of my housemate ade kete.

so,biasalha lau da ade kete.

gi kul 8.30 cm2..

sbb workshop start 9.00 a.m

balik around 5 p.m

mybe sbb 2 yg penat sgt.

but seriously,is that a must for a more intelligent student to make that 'mencapap' way in front of 472 student?

oh~please lha~~

aq cakap ny sbb aq rase mcm tak patut utk bersorak sakan pada something yg x sepatutnya utk disorak sesakan itu..tak ke??

ye...betul la....korang pandai,yes..tak nafi.

tp pandai tu boleh ke jadi satu garisan utk menyebabkan kite rase lebih yg terlebih-lebih dari org laen?

tak kan?

n korangpun x suke kalau org label yg 'budak pandai mmg mcm 2'...

kan?

tp tak tau lar lau korang memang suke dapat perhatian disbbkn perkara yg org ramai x suke.

tp x per lha.

sbb bukan aq boleyh tegur depan2 cam2.

n bukan aq berani sgt nk pegi jumpe org yg aq x knl then ckp "asal ko mencapap sgt?"

2 mmg nada kurang hajar.

nada mintak sepak.

nada yg mnyebabkan aq ade possibility yg tnggi utk di"banned".

ha.ha.ha.

mcm xde gune je tulis kt blog ny.

sbb bukan budak tamhidi bace pun.

tp boleyh dijadikan sbgai satu garisan panduan kepada sesiapa yg mmbaca.

insyaALLAH.

haa~lagi satu.

madam latipah ade ckp:

"mungkin awk rase awk x pandai tp kuasa doa boleyh mengubah.

so,yakinlah dengan sepenuh hati pada doa yang kita mintak.

yakin yang kita boleyh mencapai apa yg kita hajat."

n dye bg lagu ny.

as this song dedicated to our parent.

n we as a daughter,a son,a student.

did we want tears fall from their cheek because of our failure?

tu madam yg cakap.n aq xde lah tulis ayat dye hundred percent.

emitate.maksud yg sama.sentence yg laen.okey?

sedih.

SAYA SAYANG MAK DAN AYAH.

dedicated to:

- Dr Hj Mohamad Azhar bin Mat Ali.

- Pn. Hjh Siti Pazilah binti Zakaria.

both my parent.

i wanna hug you.

from;

-your daughter,your kak ngah.

-Siti Maryam binti Mohamad Azhar.

SESUATU..

salam sejahtera.

selamat malam.

selamat bermujahadah.

semakin ramai yg sudah ke mesir.on the way ke klia.sudah selamat sampai di bumi jordan.

alhamdulillah.the greatest word to say.

tapi,masih..ade rase yang bertanda..tipu lau kate xde rase lasum..

yes betul..saya hepi mereka disana..dapat menyambung impian mnjadi cita2.

again..alhamdulillah..

hati seperti menarik narik.

rase seperti ingin mghamburkan segalanya.

rasa sedih yang bertanda..yg mnyebabkan ade sedikit rase x best.

sepanjang hari..setiap hari..feel like "mereka bertuah".dapat mnjejakkan kaki ketempat orang..belajar bende baru semestinya.

jelous kah aq?..mungkin..ntah lar..maybe because i build that dream so far..so far away that i can't reach it.

frankly speaking..i donnno what i feel right now..

n setelah sekian lama memendam rasa..setelah sekian lama menahan rasa,menahan air mata dari mengalir..

jatuh jugak malam ni.

aku x boleh tipu perasaan sendiri .

aku x boleh sembunyi rasa bersalah yg bertandang dalam hati every time i think about this.

kenapa ye?.

jahat kah aq?..x dpt menerima takdir?,,

rasa bersalah sbb ltk parent kt tmpat yg trlalu berharap..tp serious aq x reti nk bgtau that i'm not that good.

not that good to be brilliant.not that good.

please~~

dan akhirnya..malam ny..sengaja tutup lampu..sbb dah tau hati aq dah x boleh meletakkn tnda limit utk sesuatu yg aq perlu bwk keluar.

tenanglah wahai hati.

wish that my housemate x boleh mghidu rase yg berbekas dlm hati terlalu lama.

wait.i wanna cry..for a second..or maybe two.

keluarkan.keluarkan semuanya.

kerana,everytime i hear lecturer talk bout oversea student..tiap kali 2 jugak aq menelan air liur..

menahan rasa..termenung jauh yang aq x tau sempadannye dimana.

calm down.ALLAH by your shoulder.

HE never make mistake.

HE had save you one thing that u will never think u will get.

HE have already make your path..how it will be.

don't be sad..ermm?

insyaALLAH.

malas..pergilah kamu..menjauh dari hidupku.

i did not and never need you.

i have my mission.

i need to complete it.

hundred percent.

smile,ye!

life.as.a.student.

life.

student.

major things.

student=hostel.

even it is like an apartment with 3 bedroom 

tetapi it still an hostel when we have to use that matric card in or out.

n did not allow to cook in your house.

also,have one special place for your dobi.

n register all those electrical stuff if you didnt want to pay more.

haha.

just one little thing.

we didnt have to think all about the bills.

water bill,electrical bill n so on.

n sure,im not being here for just insulted all that thing.

im been here for....

eheee....

one...how to face people??

make it as you are!

in  this world..so many people..

n i'm sure enough that every of them are not looking at you.

understand?

then,why you must be the different person when you are in a crowded versatile place?

not neccessary,rite?

aha...yap,you want people think that you are gorgeous,smart,

beautiful that there's no one in this world is beautiful as you are.

such as you are completely perfect.

ha.ha.ha.

just want to let you know.we have more than hundred countries in this world n how can you compared yourself with all of them.

malaysian as normally will have a sawo matang skin instead of arabic which they have a natural colour of skin.

n how was it going to be you are the most gorgeous human in this world?

i'm thinking.

n i didn't get the answer.

so,people out there!

girl,female,woman especially.

dont think that you have that tittle of paling hot.

even yes,you can attract as many people as you want.

because it is just in your scop.

in your place.

which is,when you are going to another place.

you.are.nothing.

as well as man.

please not acted poyo.

oh ladida~

i hate that type of man.

yap it is right.

you are the most handsome.the most richest.the most intelligent.

one that good in religious.

pendek kata..you make woman scream all night.

but please!

don't act as poyo as it is.

poyo.bajet.perasan bagus.koya.

syok sendiri.the worst one.

be as natural as wind blowing.

boleh tak??

lantak la kan orang nak suka bnyk mne pun.

tp kita masih kita.

tak berubah.

masih seperti apa yang orang suka tengok kita.

dari sudut yang mana.

maka,

hati lebih tenang.

jiwa tarak kacau.

senyum sentiasa.

orang respect.

n we do that respect to anyone as well.

talk.do.smile.

assalamualaikum n a very good evening to all of you.

love to talk.love to do.love to smile.

does it matter,no?

now..its a beginning of september.

september mean a new life.

for university student.

almost.

but not tamhidians,of course.

heh.talking 'bout the early oversea student.

the first year one.

the excited one.

ya..its a must.

how can you not excited when it come to a new country,a new surrounding,new sylibus.

CONGRATULATION!!...

for MARA student.for JPA student.for under yayasan from each negeri student.

for medic mesir student.n for all.

do your good,your best.

bring back what we call annajah as well as good attitude.

no need to feel all those berlagak-ness.

just to remind.

*sheh*

its not about i feel that u all have that *thing*

just because.

eighteen years had come to me.

the years i live.

and the question are..

is that a suitable time to looking,searching for life partner?

is that can be the best time for lovey-dovey relationship?

can it be a good time to prove how much you can take care of your partner?

because from my point of view..if it is from your parent...

maybe,yes...it could be the best.

the best from every aspect that they think relationship need it.

dont ask me..i dont know..never jump into that issue with my mak n ayah. :P

but if it is just from your heart..

maybe..again..its a maybe...

it could give a positive or negative result.

we dont know.

we cant predict future.

but always..when its start...it will stop with tears.

the end.

so,what n how your aim work?

i really do not understand.

n i dont want to get drown in those thing.

i respect my parent more.

so,let they do their favor.

for the last time.

before i got married.

n responsibility interchanged.

from my parent to my husband.

pray for me.

always.